Third Degree Torture at the Mumbai Marathon

When I stubbornly insisted on running the half-marathon in January, I received dire warnings of the physical toll that such unaccustomed exercise would take on my body. (Walking is pretty overrated, especially if you live in Sewree and until recently, have had exclusive possession of your car). My family reeled off a litany of ailments: dehydration, cramps, hairline fractures, ligament tears....but no one told me anything about missing toenails. I shall explain...

I valiantly panted through the 21 kms and hobbled around proudly for a couple of days after. Just when I'd decided that I'd been lucky to get by with nothing more serious than some aching muscles, I noticed that my toenails had taken on a very strange hue. Now I never wear nail polish, so I must admit that I was a bit surprised to see that three of my nails had turned a deep magenta. Now I know this is slightly disgusting, but the only plausible explanation for this gaudy behaviour was that blood had congealed under my toenails. Don't ask me how, I know they're supposed to be dead. I don't see how running for three and a quarter hours (yes, I did take that long to finish!)can possibly have caused my toes to bleed, but there you have it. Over the next few months, the nails have been at work dehinging themselves from my toes in varying degrees. Since it hasn't been painful in the least, I have been able to take an academic, if somewhat ghoulish interest in the process. Apart from the slight inconvenience that this condition causes when pulling on a churidar or closed shoes, it has been quite a lot of fun. It's amazing what you can get your sister to do by waving a dangling toenail in her face. Also, since it looks very painful, I attracted a fair amount of sympathy and generally felt pretty heroic. I also nearly died of laughter when a friend in my building, genuinely horrified at my condition, told me in all seriousness that my condition was fatal. She thought I was being very flippant.

I bade a fond goodbye to the last toenail today. My co-runner wanted me to preserve it as a memento, but as creepy as this post is, even I draw the line at that.